Just take it as an experience...

Finally after somedays, I get to feel better...
So far still having some fever plus a little bit of headache...
But it's okay... It will be healed someday...

No matter how I wished and hoped he will be staying, and yet he still leave me...
But it's okay... I'll let go... Coz I know everybody has their own freedom...

People keep asking me why is our relationship is so short... I didn't talk much...
But it's okay... Coz I don't want people to talk bad about him...

Although i'm really really sad about his leave... I even asked myself: Am I too desperate or what??
But it's okay... Coz the reasons he gave me why does he wants to leave satisfied me... I told myself that I mustn't be that selfish...

I know you'll put me down and everythng we've been through...
But it's okay... I'll still love you always as long as you're still in my heart...



Meow, I'm happy to see you had grown up more... I miss you... =)

Wait For You - Elliot Yamin (Female Version by Kyla)

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Boy you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Boy I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, you're still in love with me
Don't leave me crying

Baby why can't we just,
just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it won't be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

So why does your pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what you're keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting...

I'm suffering from your disappear...

I've been crying for the 6th time this week because of him...

I dunno what happened to him... He changed a lot...
He didn't reply my message... He didn't pick up his phone when I called him...
He's juz like being so cool to me... But he still treat me as good as usual last week... I really don't understand...

Why is he doing this to me?? I tried to apologize... But he juz said: " Kk... Go study la.. Later mom scold. "

That was the last message I recieved from him.

I'm so upset... Some of my friends adviced me to let go... It's just a puppy love... Or maybe he's kind of playboy...

But I just don't wanna believe what they said... Because I trusted him... I always hope that he's still with me... I dun mind if he didn't chat with me everyday, but at least contact me once in awhile... As long as I'm still in his heart...

I really hope that everything could be back to normal... I miss those sweet memories... I want them back... I don't wanna suffer anymore... Please....



Dar, I miss you.

A Surprising Birthday Celebration

Today me and my friends went to time went to celebrate me and Sea Kun's coming birthday, which Sea Kun's is on 28th Nov and mine is 30th. The 1st thing we do when reached timesquare is buy movie tickets. We watched " The Twilight Saga - New Moon", and it's SUPER NICE!!!! YOU MUST WATCH IT!!! Especially girls who likes hot guys... XD

Guess what??? Even the whole night I was thinking who is better... I like hot guys but I think I like more to vampires compare to wolves... lol... I think I've fall in love with them.... OMG....!!! @.@

We went to Gasoline to have a meal after the movie. But who knows.... The guys brought out a Secret Receipe cake!!! ( which I don't even know since when they put it under the table ) And I regreted for food which made me really full after having a piece of cake.

This is the cake. =)

The cake looked ruined after I cut it... lol... It's because it started to melt. Thanks to them for a surprising bitrhday celebration! This was my first birthday celebration with so many friends together ever. Thanks a lot!! =D

My Mom's 43th Birthday~

Mom, I love you &...

Happy Birthday!!!! =D

p.s. : This american chocolate cake is super delicious... ^^ But it's quite hard...

WTF??!!

look at this car's number...

I was shocked when I saw this car... & keep asking my mom to catch up this car for me to take photo... LOL~ (abit kua jiong~) but actually it's normal la... car number oni ma...

My sis keep asking me why do I wanna take this photo... even till now... lol...

She's still so young and innocent... Never mind la... you'll know some day... I bet it will be very soon... Trust me~ XD

p.s. : I'm not "kurang ajar" but just feel curious that this word will be used up for a car... I'm sorry if you guys feel bad... ok? =)

《走出自己的未来》

今天下午从补习回来，看见妹妹在房间睡午觉，还没醒。放下书包，走进房间，懒懒的也像睡一下... 然而，无意中看见书桌上的一本书---《走出自己的未来》。

这本书，是由李志祥编著的生涯规划实战手册。它曾入围本地一家报章的“好书投选”活动，也曾荣获星洲日报《学海》13179 好书奖，更曾被选为“国内外十大青少年好书”，中选的本地作品只有两部，它就是其中之一。

几个月前，学校主办了书展，看到它，我就把它买下了，因为我觉得这本书很有意义。只是这几个月来都很忙，买了却没时间翻开它。今天无意中看见它，突然很想看看，所以就趴在床上翻了起来。

读着读着，突然间想起我与Cheng Han 之前的谈话。我们谈到童军的事。我对他说，Pn. Hazira 忙到连童军的事也被逼丢在一旁，我们的 lencana usaha 和 maju 就这样半天吊。我不甘心，好想叫老师快点帮我们完成它们，以便我们还来得及考上皇家童军。

谁知道，Cheng Han 竟然说我贪心。

但我觉得，我这并不叫做贪心，而是意志。因为我想，如果我们已差不多完成一项自己有心要去做的事情，虽然是暂停了一阵子，哪怕慢别人好几拍，但仍然还有希望把它完成，为何不努力争取，要半途而废呢？

老实说，半途而废的人我见过不少。当然，连我自己在某方面也曾经有过这样的时候。可是近几年来，我开始觉得半途而废其实也真的蛮累人的，而且又浪费时间，不是吗？所以不知从何时起，我决定一定要完成每一个任务，除非我知道我是不会或不可能完成某些事情时，我就一定不会去做。

有许多事情，是需要我们放胆去尝试与参与；如果不尝试，我们怎么知道我们到底行或不行呢？

就像李志祥所写的：“我始终坚信，最好的未来，是自己想的，要的，用心去尝试的一个真正属于自己的未来！” 所以我相信，我的人生，由我自己整装，我能飞多远，我的天空就有多宽！

“生命究竟有没有意义，

并非我的责任；

但是怎样安排此生，

却是我的责任。”

-- 赤塞

My future scouting life...

My future scouting life... is depended on a guy... who is Edwin Lam.

To be honest, i dont know why that i love scouting so much. I tried to think and think again, which these comes out in my mind:

1. fun & adventurous


2. can make alot of friends


3. can start to train myself from can't taking certain pressure in future


4. so that i don't need to stay home doing nothing when i'm bored


5. can know more handsome/hot/cute guys!!! XD

Recently i've discussed abt aiming for king scout wit Qi Ying, Jian Ming and some of the others. We decided to pick 8 person who are most active in scouts of our school. But Edwin asked me to add a few people somemore if i can. Again but, i scared Pn. Hazira will scold us. If she does, it's all my fault. Suddenly i felt that i'm so selfish...

The reason why i asked Edwin for help wit the king scout stuff is because once i asked Pn. Hazira abt it and she frowned, saying we are too slow and it will be too late for it. I was so disappointed when shen said that and i tried to get some comments from Edwin. Luckily, he's willing to help me out. From that moment onwards, i sware that i must change our school's scouting status.

After my year 2009 final exam, I'll be starting preparing for it wit my scout friends. And ofcourse, waiting for Edwin to come back working from Japan and start our work!!!!!

I said it and I meant it.

本堂姑姐上任啦!!! XD

九月二十八日，阿元哥哥（我最大的堂哥）的第一个女儿终于都在怡保出世了!!! 所有亲戚都好开心^^ 而我，也升级当了姑姐!!! XD（事实上是堂姑姐，但我妈说没有人酱叫的。都是和堂姐一样叫姑姐）

（左边起）我堂姐嘉仪姐姐，伯母，大堂哥阿元哥哥。

姨妈姑姐都在产房外紧张地守候

凌晨一点，一阵婴儿哭声从产房传出...


这就是我堂侄女啦^^



她和一般的婴孩不一样，一出世了就会睁开眼东张西望咯！



她应该是肚子饿了吧~ 哈哈~

可爱吧？^^

A shopping day at Times Square

Me & Carpeau went times square today, searching for dresses for the prefect night. I saw this dress at Voir today and I love it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! But I didn't manage to buy it coz it's a new arrival dress and it's quite expensive. So I juz simply bought a purple deep-V dress for juz RM 29.90 ( dad wouldn't allow me to wear like that, so I'll juz add a tube-top in it). Guess how much is it???

You must be thinking it's not very expensive, coz it looks simple, rite? But the price is RM 146.61 (which is after 10% discount, original price is RM 162.90).

At first I saw this dress and I tried it and I like it very much. The material is very fine and soft. It has a good quality. But when I looked at the price tag when I came out from the fitting room... OMG!!! THIS IS AN INSANE!!! Maybe if I'm rich and I won't feel it's expensive... But apparently I'm not. Sigh... I juz love it but I juz can't have it... What to do? T.T


Well, but I spent alot on buying clothes today.

2 t-shirt for mom (which cost RM 55.40);
2 t-shirt for my little sis (cost RM 18.90);
A dress, a t-shirt and a shorts for myself (cost RM 48.80).
Total : RM 123.10

But I think it's worth it, coz I bought a lot and I hardly can go for a real shopping. =)




Today at times square...

• I saw Jun Wei having lunch at Wendy's wit his friends. But I don't know who are they coz I didn't see them. While me & Carpeau planning where to eat, suddenly she pat on my hand and said: " Carmen, look there..", pointing at Wendy's. I thought what is she going to show me, maybe there's something on the sign board or what. I looked here and there for what she's pointing at. Nothing aso... She laughed and point again. Who knows, I saw Jun Wei smiling and waving at me. I yelled. I was so embarassed and I quickly pull her off.
• At a boutique near the Chicken Rice Shop, we both grabbed 3 dresses each to try in 1 shot. I thought I'm very trying them, who knows Carpeau is slower! Coz she was thinking which dress should she buy. She even take a picture and sent it to her mom. Lol... So we asked the boutique owner abt her comment. Finally Carpeau end up buying a blue evening dress while mine is purple.
• Besides Jun Wei, I saw Yau Hui and his friend too.. Oh ya, and I also saw the SMKBBSP ketua pengakap, Tommy, which is Yan Shan and his girlfriend walking to LRT with the same direction with me (I didn't know that he had a such pretty girlfriend.. LOL!! Congrats! Congrats! XD ) But I just pretend didn't see them. "Fai si" kacau people pak tor la... XD

Conclusion: I had a happy but tired day... =)

Chocolate Rice Cookies vs Raisin Butter Cookies

Yesterday mom suddenly decided to bake cookies today while she was discussing with dad about how should we spend this holiday week. So, last night after dinner, we went to a nearby grocery shop to buy the ingredients. Before that, my sis & I suggested to bake chocolate chip cookies while my mom wants to bake cookies with raisins, which she likes very much.

In the end, we bought raisins and chocoloate rice as there is no chocolate chips selling. Oh well, btw it's the same what.

This morning after breakfast, my mom, sis & I start baking. We separated it into 4 times so that it's easier to bake.

1st, prepare the apparatus and ingredients.

Apparatus - A kitchen scale (make sure there's no zero error), a big bowl (not in this pic), a normal bowl, a big plate & a sieve.

Ingredients - 6 oz of flour + 1 teaspoon of baking powder

3 oz of fine sugar

1/2 of beaten egg

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla essence

4 oz of margarine

a sufficient amount of chocolate rice/ raisins

(where 1 oz = 30 g)

2nd, make sure you measure those ingredients very accurately. If not, your baking result might fail, like mine, the 3rd time we baked.

3rd, sift the flour so that it will be fine enough and won't be too hard when you eat the cookies.

4th, put the measured margarine & fine sugar into a big bowl and mix it with a strong, hard tablespoon. (Or else the spoon will be broken or bent, trust me.) until it becomes like this:

5th, beat the egg well and pour 1/2 of it into the mixture. REMEMBER!!! JUST 1/2 OF IT!!! If not it will be like my 3rd time, which has failed coz of me, accidently poured too much of egg into it. T.T

Then, stir it evenly till like this.

6th, put a tablespoon of flour each time into the mixture and stir it evenly. Repeat this until the flour has finish mixed with the mixture. Then, it will form a dough like this one:

7th, put the raisins/ chocolate rice into the dough and mix it till it's even enough. Then, it becomes...

WHAT??!! Why suddenly raisins?? Not chocolate rice meh??

Don't be shocked la... The chocolate rice will not transform into raisins. It's just that I've forgotten to take the chocolate rice dough picture. So I just replace it with this lo... XD

8th, heat up the tray in the oven so that the cookie dough will not stick on the tray. (we want it to be fast, so we add an extra plate, lol...)

9th, use your fingers to make any shape of cookies you want. Place it on the heaten tray. Remember not to place them too close to each other, coz they need spaces to expand when you bake them.

10th, put the tray into the oven & bake the cookies with 400⁰F, which is about 200⁰C. and it ends up like this:

Chocolate rice cookies ^0^

Raisin cookies ^_^

Lastly, remove the cookies from the tray and place them in a plate when it's cooled.

And you can serve them now! XD

It's very thirsty during this baking process. And at the right time, dad had made us chinese tea. =)

We've failed once today.

The third time. Too wet. Coz of my carelessness. ( My bad, my fault...) Compare these:

Right - success ; left - FAILED!!!!! T.T

But at least we've success 3/4 of them la... =)

After that, we put them in containers. My sis planned to bring some to school for her friends to try. So do I. But I don't know whether it's enough for them or not! XD

It's Hari Raya Puasa now. Should I call them " Kuih Raya" or just cookies?

A Boring Friday Holiday

Today's Friday,
a public holiday,
but a rainy day,
made it a cool wheather day,
a fan useless day,
and also a sleepy day.

Because it's a boring day,
so i decided to make today a study day,
assive to make myself so hardworking today.

At first I thought I would be going to MBS's mooncake festival event today,
but I did not coz dad said it will be a very jam day;
I thought today would be a fun and cheerful day,
but end up as a nothing-to-do-day.

I'm just waiting...

I'm waiting for something special to happen... So that I can experience more...

I'm waiting for school holidays... So that I can be abit more relax than usual...

I'm waiting for my chance to buy a new, suitable watch... So that I don't need to bring my half broken watch here and there...

I'm waiting for November... So that I can rebond my hair again for not frustating with my messy hair anymore...

I'm waiting for my contact lenses... So that I can do better in anything...

I'm waiting for my exam... So that I can finish it faster and relax...

I'm waiting for dad's mouth to say we're moving to a new house... So that I can rare a Siberian Husky and a Labrador Retriever or a Golden Retriever to cheer me up when i'm stressed and unhappy...

I'm waiting for my new love... So that I can depent on someone when I need...

I'm waiting and waiting...

I'm juz waiting for a better future... ^^

Merdeka!! Merdeka!! Merdeka!!!

Waiting for 12 o'clock sharp to come... Especially those colourful fire crackers. And the next day will be a meaningful, historical day of our country, which is the 52th independent day of Malaysia.





On this day, alot of people will gather at the Stadium Merdeka to watch lots of performance, showing many different kinds of culture in Malaysia. But this year, i think it will not as interesting as the past years. Why? Because the independent day of the year is during the fasting month! Well, hope the feel of " Merdeka " will be still the same as the past years tomorrow. And seriously, i'm proud to be a malaysian. Hope that our country will be always peace and harmony. =)

HAPPY 52th BIRTHDAY TO MALAYSIA!!!

Welcome, my holidays...^^

YEAH!!!! HOLIDAYS!!!! Finally can have abit of rest... But not exactly, still have tution class to attend. But still happy^^ Better than nothing la... XD




To Mr. Hokkien,

I just wanna tell you, I'm not a hokkien. I can understand a little hokkien doesn't means I can always understand what are you talking about. But this also doesn't means you can insult me in hokkien. I still can know that you called me stupid and no brain. All I wanna say is, I'm not a dumb; plus, I have a brain. And yet, a rasional brain. Think about what you're going to say next time. Hope you won't regret what you did.

From,

Ms. Non- hokkien.

Trip to FRIM

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!! I'M LATE!!!! I know you guys will go on asking me why am I upload these kinda 'old' pictures... Well, I don't have time ma... Sorry lo... Hope it won't be too late... Hehehe... Paiseh...

I took this picture during resting and waiting for the others to finish the canopy walk.

Look at the super-hardworking Jason. He brought his newspaper to read while everyone is resting. Yeah, time is gold right? LOL!!!

" Kye Ernn!!! Loooook Heeerre!!!" She didn't hear me. Oh, well... XD

Hey, don't look at me, try to spot on Hau Siong's expression. LOL!!!

My pretty pal, Carpeau. Love her big, watery, shining eyes... *Blinkie blink*

Happy sweet 16th birthday to Shu Zhi!!

Lack of students in class today...

A take before going jungle-tracking in the forest at FRIM, Kepong.

(Top: Meng Leong; Bottom from left: Carpeau, me & Wai Hong)

There were just 19 people in 4sc3 today... The other 16 students were absent mostly becaused of tired after coming back from the trip to FRIM & Beryl's chocolate factory yesterday. Let me list out those name who were present in class today: -

1. Me

2. Wai Man
3. Andrew

4. Jee Yan

5. Jason

6. Vivian

7. Meng Leong

8. Hui Nee

9. Zee Zhou

10. Hui Yi

11. Kee Shin

12. See Kei

13. Sea Kun

14. Rachel

15. Jun Han

16. Shu Zhi

17. Min Chian

18. Mas

19. Azmyza

Most of the teachers didn't teach today. So, we've been turn up to school just for chating and playing all day long. This is the first time in my whole life i felt so relaxing but bored at school. XD

Its getting late now... Gotta sleep... So about the FRIM and the Beryl's chocolate factory trip i'll post it tomorrow... =)

I just don't get it why...

Again, we had a little conflict today. Just because of a little matter. I was wearing my headphone listening to music while onlining and i didn't noticed my handphone message alert rang. 5 minutes later, the phone rang again. This time i noticed it and i read the second message. It says: " Fainted already ah?? Soh po== ". I told him that i'm onlining. And then the next one: " Owh~ Online then don't wanna bother me already la~ Hahaha " So I replied, telling him that i didn't noticed the message. " Hng~ Find leng zai then don't bother me already == Fine... Bye bye ", he sent.

Bye bye. I've been so sensitive with this word suddenly. But still, i controlled myself not to be emo. Fine... But till today, i still don't get why i'm the one who always apologize first. I just don't like to see anybody to be unhappy, making me moody too.

Leadership vs Friendship

That picture above was taken by me when the scouts are having rest after lots of activities during a Patrol Leader Course at my school this year March.

Last night, Edwin, who is a scout master taught me a really meaningful lesson about scouting. He told me his history of becoming a scout leader & it was touching to me. From his words, i knew that being a scout leader is not as easy as i think. He was supposed to be the troop leader in a few troop, 1 of them which is the Batu Flamingo Open Scout Troop but he prefer to be a good friend to all of his scout troop members instead of being a leader. He said leadership in scouts is not that important, whereas friendship & cooperation between every scout members is the most important to proceed a successful work. I agreed.

" When people ask who's the troop leader of the Flamingo Troop, i'll tell that person that we don't have a troop leader, coz we're all leaders. A leader needs his members to support him so that he can only be a good leader. So, everyone is also a leader. "

This is what he said while we're chatting in MSN messenger. Thats why he doesn't like to be a outstanding leader. I guess.

Once again, Edwin, thanks. You've taught me alot. At the same time, you're helping to grow me up to be more mature. =D

Carpeau is absent again today, making me feel worried about her. Fortunately, she gave me a call and told me she's doing quite fine compare with yesterday while i was going to call her. Luckily she had nothing to do with the influenza A (H1N1). Or else i'll be rushing to the hospital immidiately... LOLS!! Joking joking... XD

Today's a bad luck for Zee Zhou, my classmate. Here's the story.

Zee Zhou brought his handphone to school today and took out to play. Kee Shin borrowed his phone to have a look. Who knows he accidently on MJ's "Beat It" and he was unable to lower down the volume. Everyone looked at him as they stunned. That time the malay woman relief teacher asked him to pass the handphone to her. Kee Shin had no choice so he pass it to her. Meng Leong tried to help but failed. That moment i can see Zee Zhou was very worried. As the teacher walking out towards the door, i tried to help too but it's no use. She just wouldn't let anyone touch the phone and said she'll pass it to Cik Lim, our decipline teacher. Till school ends, Jian Ming from next class went to Cik Lim to help him to get back the phone. At last everyone was relieved as everything is settled.

This story tell us that do not bring handphone to school if you do not want to take the risk. & i'm sry to those guys which i mentioned up there if i said anything wrong. XD